When I think about the children I service, (my own and my students) I cannot help but want to make them happy! I do what I can to see smiles on their faces and sometimes its monetary and others its screaming out ridiculous things in the car or during class so that they can laugh hysterically. My favorite recently has been "WHOOOOOOOO DOGGGGGGGGGGGIEEEE" in a very strange voice. However, the laughter that it evokes is a priceless gift that I hear replay back to me on days I wake up and want to cry as I'm peeling myself out of bed. If I could just give all the children that I come across morals, direction, education, laughter, and memories then my life will be complete. I will die a happy woman.
It's so easy to get caught up in our day to day lives and forget what our purpose is in life. If you're in anything for you, than you will leave very sad and unfulfilled. Everyone has a different life purpose and for most mothers, their children come first on that list. When you die, what will your legacy be? However, with that said; the one thing I despise the most amongst "moms" is the "Title War". You know exactly what I am talking about, "working" and "SAHM" syndrome. The minute a woman becomes a mother she suddenly clings to an identity. This woman now has to make choices and she defines herself from them. Why do we do this? I say this because so often it is with good intention and selflessly one becomes a mother, but then gets caught up in the "formula feeding, breast feeding, co sleeping, sleep training, working, stay at home, yoga mom titles." I think to myself you have no better way to describe yourself but this? Why do we mothers find ourselves in the business of boxing ourselves in with this title? Is it pride? Is it insecurity? It reminds me of the clique behavior exhibited in schools. The breastfeeding moms over here, the working moms over there, the soccer moms in the other corner, the "Stepford" wives this way, special needs parents ban together, and then there are moms like me who hopelessly mingle between the crowds and wonder why so often we don't just empower and make each other feel empowered. Why don't we commit to making a difference together and not individually?
In the last 3 months about dozens of people asked me if I nursed, was I going to go back to my full time teaching job, and how I planned on losing the weight. What does it all really matter? Is it small talk or is it important?
I will never understand why not a single solitary person asked me if I was happy, or how I perceived to make my children happy. In the end isn't that all that matters? It never mattered to me much if a woman worked, stayed home, exercised, mainstream, old fashioned, hippie loving, crunchy, single, married, widowed, co sleeping, sleep training, rich, poor, bottle fed, breast fed, and anything in between. What mattered to me most was if she was truly happy. Was her child loved? If she was happy, then I knew her mission would be to make her child happy and feel loved. I only care about if children are loved. I spend so much time with disadvantaged children, and while its my job to teach them reading and writing, I ultimately want them to feel the warmth ad love of someone who cares. How many hugs, funny handshakes, and laughs are had daily in my class? Too many to count, and my only goal is for them to look back and say I had a great Teacher. The other day a student told me, "You hold us down, that's why we aren't bad for you." Translation = "You are good to us, and make sure we have what we need, so we respect you." That was one of the best compliments I received this year. The same way I want my own children to look back and say we had a great mother. As human beings we must realize while our choices make us happy, they don't make another. We should support that in our culture, and our "sisterhood" of mothering. In my 8 years of mothering, I have not seen that happen very often! So often the differences divide us, and leave for less happy mothers and people in society in general.
With the holiday season upon us, why not go spread some cheer to all the people you see. Don't stick inside your inner circle, take a step out and make someone happy. Go far, go wide, send a card to the mom or family who is nothing like "yours".
What if you spent your entire year making others happy? Donating, giving, loving, cheering, smiling? How happy and warm would you feel inside?
This is for you all........ your circumstances, your situation, your choices will never define you to me.
~Nita
"Mothers are the people who love us for no good reason. And those of us who are mothers know it's the most exquisite love of all."- Maggie Gallagher
"It's the moms of this nation - single, married, widowed - who really hold this country together. We're the mothers, we're the wives, we're the grandmothers, we're the big sisters, we're the little sisters, we're the daughters. You know it's true, don't you? You're the ones who always have to do a little more." - Ann Romney
"It's the moms of this nation - single, married, widowed - who really hold this country together. We're the mothers, we're the wives, we're the grandmothers, we're the big sisters, we're the little sisters, we're the daughters. You know it's true, don't you? You're the ones who always have to do a little more." - Ann Romney
My Pride and Joys: Caleb (8), Mailee (5), and Dominic (11 weeks)
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